I met Jane (not her real name as she wanted to remain anonymous, which I’ll honour) through a friend and was touched by her story. We were of similar age, and she had recently battled cancer. During that time, I had family members also fighting their own cancer battles. Seeking advice, I contacted Jane, and we soon formed a close bond. This is her journey of resilience and recovery.
1. First off, thank you so much for telling your story. I appreciate this is a difficult time to revisit. Can you take us back to your initial reaction when you were first diagnosed?
The memory of that day will stay with me forever.
I received a call from my doctor asking me to come in that afternoon. They wouldn’t reveal anything over the phone, so I suspected it wasn’t positive.
I thought I was mentally prepared—but I wasn’t. I was surprised to meet with a new doctor instead of my usual physician. She explained that my doctor was on leave and felt it necessary to call me in personally.
She sat me down and told me I had stage three ductal carcinoma cancer (early stage breast cancer) that had spread to my lymph nodes, stressing the urgency of acting fast. They wanted to operate the following week by “cutting the tumour out.”
Later, after obtaining second and third opinions, I learned this could have put me in greater danger as cutting into the tumour could allow the cancer cells to spread uncontrollably.
My initial reaction was a complete mental blank. I couldn’t process what she was saying. It felt like I was in one of those scenes in a movie where everything becomes muffled, the words turning into garbled underwater sounds.
Eventually, I managed to say, “Sorry, did you just say I have cancer?” She replied, “Yes.” At that point, I broke down, overwhelmed by fear and panic, with countless questions racing through my mind.
The nurse was asked to take me out of the room, and I was placed in the waiting area with other patients while I sobbed uncontrollably. A kind patient noticed and came over to hug me, which was exactly what I needed in that moment.
The rest of the day was spent with close friends. I sat in a daze, repeating the same questions in my head and hoping for a call to say there had been a mistake with my results.
2. I’m so sorry you went through that. Can you tell us what the rest of your journey was like, both physically and emotionally?
For me, the hardest part was losing my hair. While it may seem superficial to some, it symbolised a loss of identity. I’ve always expressed myself through bold and vibrant hairstyles, so losing my hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes made me feel alien and unrecognisable in the mirror.
I opted to use a cold cap to minimise my hair loss, despite being warned about its intense discomfort (with temperatures between -15°C and -40°C).
In my rebellious and stubborn nature, I was determined to complete all eight sessions, which helped save roughly 40% of my hair. Through this, I discovered my incredibly high pain tolerance. Despite this, I shaved my head because seeing my hair shed everywhere was too distressing.
Some doctors labelled me the “rebellious patient” because I challenged the status quo and asked lots of questions they couldn’t always answer.
The “cut, burn, and poison” approach of chemotherapy felt archaic to me, so I also explored more natural remedies.
Emotionally, it was difficult to go through a treatment I didn’t fully believe in. While I had been prepared for common side effects, other gruelling effects caught me off guard.
3. How were you able to have conversations about your illness with loved ones?
I often put on a brave face and made light of the situation. I named my tumour and assured them I was doing great—even when I wasn’t. I recall FaceTiming my dad a few hours after surgery, waving my arm to show him how quickly I was recovering, despite my mum anxiously gesturing for me to stop, worried I’d tear something.
4. Did you find any communities or support groups to tap into?
While the hospital suggested some WhatsApp groups, I declined because I didn’t want cancer to define me. In hindsight, I might have benefited from them as I often felt lonely in my journey. I did join some Facebook groups, but many shared dangerous misinformation. Cancer is not a one-size-fits-all.
5. What coping mechanisms did you find helpful during your treatment?
Positivity is essential in healing. I believe in the power of the mind and the energy we put into the universe. I flipped negatives into positives: I was young and strong enough to fight, and this experience pushed me to take better care of myself. I refused to let cancer dictate my life. I still went to the gym, even if only half-heartedly.
6. Did you turn to anything for inspiration to help you through?
I watched a docuseries called The Truth About Cancer. One figure who inspired me was a physician specialising in integrative oncology. He described cancer not as a death sentence but as a warning sign from the body, emphasising the need to address underlying imbalances.
7. How has your outlook on life changed now that you’re cancer-free?
I’m incredibly grateful for life and health. I no longer take anything for granted. This experience has also inspired me to make future plans I may never have considered before.
8. Any other final reflections from your experience?
Trust your gut instincts. I’ve learned that I’m the ultimate authority of my body.
Research treatments, explore options, and choose what feels right for you. For those supporting someone with cancer, listen to their needs, fears, and wishes without imposing your own.
Don’t try to be strong for others; let them support you. I exhausted myself even further, trying to be strong for them all. Take the support they offer.
Post-treatment, focus on rebuilding your mind and body. Prioritise your immune system, gut health, remove toxins, and address the trauma cancer caused.
Recovery is not just physical but emotional and spiritual, too. Prepare yourself as it can take years for your body to recover from the effects of chemotherapy.
I’ve been doing a lot of work and research around this on how to rebuild your overall health and body post-cancer. So drop a comment to the blog team if you want to get in touch with me.
What an inspiring story. I’m sure many can relate to it, having gone through something similar or know someone who has. Thank you for sharing it with us.